The Problem With Body Bashing

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Last week I wrote this article, Fat Loss Secret Weapon: Your Metabolism, for Fitlife.tv:

“Being a personal trainer and a new mom I am constantly getting compliments on how quickly I returned to my post baby shape. To be honest I am actually in better shape now then I was before I became pregnant. I am super excited to share what I have learned with you and encourage you in your own healthy lifestyle journey.” (Click on the above link to continue reading)

The majority of the comments about my article were not about the article itself but targeted a photo I shared (see photo). The photo shows my stomach before and after having Caden. These comments were posted on Fitlife.tv and the Juicing Vegetables Facebook Page

why does she look like shes had liposuction on the right…

and they think it looks better…??

there wasn’t any fat to loose anyway.. liked her belly better before

Before is better!! Give the girl a sandwich.

I think the 2011 pic looks better the 2013 pic is too thin….gross in my opinion…

The after pic is bordering on eating disorder.

I don’t think it is a good idea to encourage anyone to look anorexic.

She looks better in the before pic. It’s not attractive to be a stick.

It does not look like the same person. Look at the belly button.

This doesn’t look like the same person to me. Boobs are bigger, can’t see the collar bone as much on the after picture.

Looks like she had a breast enhancement.

These comments were eyeopening. And to be honest, a tad bit hurtful. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I am sure all of us can remember a time when we have been criticized for our looks. Nowadays no one is immune to having their body dissected. Losing the baby weight did not happen overnight. Here is how I looked at 37 weeks pregnant and after Caden’s birth (this was not the photo I shared with my article). To see my recent photo click here.

The internet gives people the ability to speak to a large audience. To those who wrote the above comments. I respect your right to post your thoughts on my body but I do not agree with your opinions.

The truth. I do not have an eating disorder. I eat around 2000 calories each day to support my active lifestyle.

The truth. The pictures are 100% the same person. The belly button and boobs look different because I gave birth to my adorable baby boy.

I worked hard for every drop of sweat that fell. I am happy and proud of what I accomplished. But my weight does not define me and it does not define you. Our world is very judgmental and I don’t think it is cool to tell someone they “looked better before” or diagnose an eating disorder based off a photo.

Your weight does not determine your worth. The bible says that each of us are “fearfully and wonderfully made” and I believe that. God made us and loves us. God loves you. You are beautiful and amazing in God’s eyes.

Everyone has an idea of their perfect body. But guess what? There are people who wished they looked as good as you do right now! It doesn’t matter what size your pants are because someone would love to be your size. Your weight does not determine your worth. We are all a work in progress. Appreciate the journey you are on.

I am thankful to my biggest supporter my husband for constantly encouraging me. Here is his response that he wrote to those who posted a comment on my article.

First off I can assure you both pictures are of the same woman, she is a fun loving, life loving, GOD loving, compassionate woman. She puts her pictures out there for the world to see and to inspire you to get up off your bottoms and achieve your goals. She is confident enough to not let the rude comments effect her (very much). She is in fact my wife and the mother to my son and a great example for him to see in a woman. She cannot be anorexic due to the fact that she eats around 2,000 calories a day (as stated in the article). She works hard, and thank goodness knows that I think she is beautiful and that is what truly matters. She is fit, cares about herself enough not to poison her body with crap, and we have both made a commitment to live a healthy lifestyle so we can pass that on to our son. So thanks for all those who complimented, and haters keep on hating if thats what makes you feel better about yourself. Much love from the Buschel’s.

I love that man so much!

Striving for a healthy body needs to be encouraged and not bashed. Each individual is unique and so is the shape of their body. The problem with body bashing requires that we accept that there is such a thing as the “perfect body.” This is a myth. Let’s stop tearing each other down and instead celebrate each others beauty.

Have a great day and I would love to hear how you respond to negative comments.

xoxo, Tamara

PS…I am super excited to share with you a recap of my pregnancy with Caden and also how I lost my baby weight so we be sure to check back later this week and next.

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  1. I couldn’t agree with you more! I wrote a post about this very thing recently. Judging others is not our role! We need to support and love others, no matter what we look like. You are a beautiful and hard-working wife and momma! http://www.erinsfitlife.blogspot.com/2013/04/you-are-beautiful-just-way-you-are.html

    • Thank you Erin!

    • stephanie says:

      6 weeks after having my son I have lost 32 pounds! I have quit a bit to go. but this is inspirational. Losing weight after birth says its the best time to do it and to make a new healthier you not just for yourself but you also have a little and in the near future you have to keep up with them once they start becoming a little movers!!! =) I am doing this and saying this because my goal is to be able to enjoy fun activities with my son and be able to keep up with but I am sure he will pass me up some point. lol

  2. Awesome, AWESOME response!!! I especially adore your husbands comment. You are a lovely person and your love for God shines through your response to those who are bitter and rude. Wonderful post!

  3. Tamara, because I’ve taken your classes as long as you’ve been teaching I can tell all your detractors that you are hardly anorexic. As a matter of fact, you look very healthy and fit…in real life and in the photo. People who find negative in others are often reflecting their own insecurities. Oh, and by the way, I have a MS & BS in Exercise Science, so my perspective of Tamara is based on science and art. She should be an inspiration to all of you who somehow found it appropriate to make negative comments!

  4. People are so stupid. I think you look amazing (before AND after) and I hope that I can get back to around my pre-pregnancy body!
    Kaitlyn recently posted…21 Week Bumpdate!My Profile

  5. I’m sorry you got such hateful comments on what seems to be a very informative post. I think you look amazing both before AND after baby! I also lost a ton of weight after my first baby was born, losing about 25 pounds from my pre-baby weight and getting down to a size I hadn’t been since middle school! No eating disorders involved, just healthy eating, weight training and Pilates, and portion control. I’m having baby #3 in September and hope to get back down to that weight and stay there! And of course a woman’s body, especially belly button and breasts, look different post-baby. I gained a whole cup size after having a baby, even while losing 25 pounds! I really enjoy your blog and look forward to hearing how you lost your baby weight. Maybe I’ll pick up a few tips!
    Katie recently posted…Lil Sis: A big ol’ 2-year-old!My Profile

  6. Stephanie says:

    I love your response and think you are such an inspiration for so many! I love your blog it helps motivate me and keep me on track! Thank you!!

  7. Most negativity comes from jealousy. You work hard to take care of your body and should be praised for this instead of put down! You are beautiful instead & out! So sweet of your husband to stand up for you. Keep doing what you’re doing! Many look to you for inspiration!!!
    Laura recently posted…Mother’s Day FestivitiesMy Profile

  8. A person’s true character comes through when they are treated unfairly. You know I am one of your biggest cheerleaders. I’ve worked out with you during your pregnancy at 4:30 a.m. two times a week – and know firsthand the importance you put on nutrition and fitness. You practice what you preach and I have been privileged to call you my personal trainer as well as my daughter. I am so proud of the way you directed something negative into a powerful message that once again inspires.
    Debbie recently posted…Day 21 May Blog Challenge – Five FavsMy Profile

  9. I agree that people are entitled to their opinion but what happened to common sense? If you don’t have anything nice to say, DON’T SAY IT! Im sorry that people said such negative things to you. (That are completely untrue!) You are such a positive force and a true inspiration. Thank you for sharing your story and encouraging people with your kind words. You rock lady!
    Kelley recently posted…Scheduling PostsMy Profile

  10. That is absolutely terrible!! you work hard & deserve to post about it… The internet is a strange thing since pictures are out there for the entire world to see…. I feel like sometimes people on the other side of the computer seem to think they are entitled to say whatever negative thought they have because it is through the screen & not to your face. Keep doing what you’re doing! Your posts are super inspirational & I can tell you that I enjoy reading all about your healthy lifestyle as it helps me!!
    jen recently posted…EIGH months old !My Profile

  11. I’m new to your blog – I just read the post you wrote for Kaitlyn at Wifessionals.

    First off – that is awesome your husband commented back to those who were negative.

    Secondly – you probably know this, but I wanted to encourage you: the negative comments are likely from people who struggle with their own weight, self-worth, or a combination of the two. There could also be some jealousy. I know I see the pictures and am jealous that you motivate yourself to work out and have a toned core.

    I think it’s great that you strive to keep yourself fit and make the time for it. I personally think you look great! It gives me a little motivation to work out again; after the birth of my daughter, which is now a little over a year ago, I lost any motivation to ever work out because I feel like I’ll never get a body that looks fit again. So thank you for posting those pics, for being vulnerable, and not letting the negative comments stop you from using a gift you obviously have – encouraging others on their road to having and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

    I’m curious: where do you recommend someone like me starting to try and get back into a work out routine? I used to run cross country in High School, and though I miss it, it’d be hard for me to run in the morning or at night because of my husband’s job and safety. SO, do you know of any resources to set up a “beginners” workout that would hit all the key areas?
    Megan recently posted…Literary Junkies [v. 3]My Profile

    • Hi Megan! Thank you for reading my blog :). I completely understand struggling to find the time to workout. My husband is a firefighter and sometimes gone for long periods of time so I had to get slightly creative with my workout routine. Have you tried any of the Jillian Michaels workout DVD’s? 30 Day Shred only takes 20 minutes everyday for a month. It is challenging but if you stick with it for the 30 days it is worth it. Do you have a jogging stroller? Maybe you could go to a local park and get in a few laps with your little one. Feel free to email me if you have more questions at tamara.buschel@gmail.com. You can get fit again. It may take time but don’t give up :).

  12. Tam, you rock! Don’t let the comments get you down, you are amazing and you look amazing! While doing yoga with you the other day, I could not stop staring and thinking how awesome you look (creepy? sorry!), but even more you look so happy and fit and like you feel so great. And THAT’S the most important part. So keep being a rockin body, fit mamma! xoxo

    • I had so much fun practicing next to you! You are so sweet! I am so happy that our boys share a birthday and that your family is doing so well too!

  13. I know from following your blog that you are a beautiful woman inside and out! You deserve all of your outstanding results as you work so hard for it!! You are an inspiration to me as I try to live and model a healthy lifestyle for my family as well! Keep up the good work. I hate to hear that other women, who I know are just jealous of your success, are being so judgmental and hateful. Don’t let it get you down! And please keep up the blog posts for those of us who really do enjoy them 🙂

  14. Stephanie says:

    It is such a shame that women feel the need to tear other women down. You have worked so hard, been through so much, and it shows! You look AMAZING, but the best part is, you are healthy and in good shape, meaning your conditioning, heart, and insides are working well, as well as the outside looking as healthy as the inside. I only hope I can work hard enough after having a baby to look half as good as you!

  15. Hi Tam! First off, you do NOT look anorexic, you look amazing and you are such an inspiration to me (not just with the way you look, but your approach to fitness and your amazing heart!). I have been struggling quite a bit lately with body image. In our society women are taught to never be happy with their bodies. There is so little focus on health and so much on image. It’s sad, and I can fall into the trap so easily. I have been working out consistently for almost a year now and have been eating clean (for the most part!) for a year and a half, and I’ve seen awesome changes. About 7 lbs lost, a few inches, but more than that I am stronger and much more endurant, I feel so healthy! I have accomplished physical goals that I never thought possible for me… but somehow that’s not enough. Sure, it’s fine to always strive for the next goal. Absolutely! But my issue is contentment. The Lord put that on my heart a few days ago. I need to care for this body He has blessed me with, but at the same time, I need to remember that my current body is a blessing, and stop staring at and obsessing about those parts that I’m not happy with. Your words resonated with me today in a big way. I can feel God working on my heart about a healthy body IMAGE, not just a healthy body. Fitness can easliy become an idol… this definitely holds true for me. But in a way, God is using my fitness “obsession” to convict me and bring me closer to Him. Sorry for the long ramble here… your post was just very God-timed for me. 🙂

  16. You are an IRON WOMAN!! I think you look incredible!! Losing weight is hard enough but being a full time mother, wife, and woman, now that’s something to be proud of!! I think you should continue to inspire others to be healthy, and your blog is great! 🙂 Be proud, stay inspiring, and continue what makes you feel good!

    YOU GO GIRL !

  17. Hi, Tamara! Came here from the link of Facebook. You look awesome, seriously! Great job done. And those people…well…bless them, and be proud of yourself you gave them some “bones” to suck on. When someone have no success in own life and too lazy to change anything, they comforting themselves by trying to bring down someone who is successful. Here is good quote

  18. They are just jealous! Keep up the great work!!

  19. Oh girl, don’t give those haters a second thought! I don’t have weight issues and you still inspire me every day! I love coming to your blog and reading about your life & fitness, you are so encouraging in the way you write. You can feel it in the tone that you are judgmental and negative, you’re encouraging & motivating! I know everyone else said it, but you are loved and appreciated so just keep it up!

    And you are SO RIGHT about body image! Way to speak out about it!
    Natalia recently posted…Some exciting news!My Profile

  20. People are just jealous! You have a rockin body and esp for post baby. Trust me I know how hard you work at it , as I always tell people when they say something to me I say ITS HARD WORK!
    Nelly recently posted…Healthy Snackin’ and matching outfits!My Profile

  21. Thank you for sharing such a GREAT blog! I loved it!! For my whole life, I have always been an athlete and taken good care of myself (for the most part). I had two children and it took a while, but I was able to get back into shape after each pregnancy. However, three years ago – I started having serious neck and head pain. In the last three years, I had multiple neck surgeries and then brain surgery. With each surgery, I was in bed for months recovering. At the same time – I began to hit menopause as well and so my metabolism tanked. I gained 30+ lbs. I had been 5’9″ and a size 6 most of my life. Suddenly, I am 35 lbs over-weight, a size 12 and every muscle in my body has atrophied. Not fun at all! I now am back at the gym – doing a combination of spin, yoga and light weights to boost my metabolism and strengthen my core. I am one month into this new routine and although the weight is not shedding off yet – the inches slowly are. The weight gain didn’t come in a month and so I know the recovery (weight loss and rebuilding muscle will not come in a month either).

    In one spin class I took, the instructor was SO hard one me for not keeping up in the class. I won’t repeat her words of condemnation and judgment. When I told her afterwards that I had recently had brain surgery – she was so humiliated and humbled. We really can’t judge people’s journeys. I work with many women who are molested or raped and they are unable to embrace their bodies and who they are as women. So, in self-hatred, they punish their bodies for what was done to them. Part of what I do is to help move them towards loving themselves and their bodies no matter what they look like. We truly do need to be filled with grace and compassion and help people in their own personal journey towards health and wellness. There is beauty in everyone – no matter what their body type. I think if people looked beyond the body into the heart and slowed down to know the story of the heart behind the body – people would be more compassionate. Thanks again for a GREAT article!

    • Thank you so much for sharing! I could not agree with your words more. I am so sorry that happened to you in spin class but it sounds like you opened up that instructors eyes. I am sure she will always remember your conversation after class.
      Tamara recently posted…First Trimester RecapMy Profile

  22. Go get the trolls kid!!! nice shot back at em.. Proud of ya…..

  23. I found you through your post at Wifessionals!!! Just from the few things I’ve read I love your blog and can’t wait to read more!

  24. Goodness. Those comments are just spewing from jealousy, and it’s obvious. Usually the people saying those things are the people who are too lazy to do anything for their own health. It’s sadly really. They tear others down to try and make themselves feel better. I am so glad you didn’t let these comments get to you! You are such an inspiration to the rest of us.
    Amanda recently posted…FYSIKO Lash Growth SerumMy Profile

  25. AMEN! You are an inspiration for all that you do. You lead by example and with your courage and I applaud you for that. Thanks for sharing your experiences.

  26. I started following you when I saw that post on fitlifetv’s facebook page. I thought you looked great. Exactly how I want to look, I thought you were inspiring. I have 3 children. After 2 I had no problems getting to how I wanted to look but even though my youngest is 4 already, I am having trouble being where I want to be and maintaining it. Thanks for sharing.

  27. “This doesn’t look like the same person to me. Boobs are bigger, can’t see the collar bone as much on the after picture. ”

    Guessing that person doesn’t work out much, they’ve never worn a really tight bra, especially right after the baby, the boobies need support! lol

    I think you look absolutely fantastic. And what the bashers don’t realize is that you’ve also helped your heart’s health by losing the excess fat. We weren’t designed to carry a lot of fat, we were designed to be gatherers and hunters eating more protein and less fat. I’m no poster child, but I completely support you and find myself inspired.

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