Parenting with Loving Correction: Practical Help for Raising Young Children

Parenting while joyful can sometimes be painful. How you respond to the the little people God has given you can shine light on your innermost thoughts. I have leaned that how I react and respond to my children when they are disobeying can directly reflect at times my idolatrous thinking. It has and will continue to be an opportunity for me to grow in sanctification and self control.

I am thankful for books like Parenting with Loving Correction: Practical Help for Raising Young Children by Sam Crabtree that point me back towards the gospel and away from my own sinful nature. In doing this I am a more effective parent because I realize that God gave me the four children I have for their good and for mine as well as to glorify God.

Below are just a few highlights from this book. I highly recommend it if you are in need of encouragement or new strategies to deal with disciplining your child. It is a short read and will be well worth your time and money!

I received a copy of this book from Crossway to review. All opinions are my own. 

What is Corrective Discipline?

Corrective discipline means:

  1. Identifying actions or attitudes of your child that are unacceptable when weighted against clear and explicit standards, then
  2. acting promptly and decisively to move your child in the direction of compliance with those standards.

The Heart of The Matter

Discipline aims at fostering a specified pattern of character, in the strength God supplies. If you just address outward behaviors without getting to the heart the risk greatly increases for a child to gravitate to external conformity, moralism, and legalism.

While it is great if your child obeys when it comes to discipline the goal should be to impact the heart. Heart transformation will lead to sincere cooperation because that is change that God fully creates and sustains. Proverbs 20:11 tells us that “Even a child makes himself known by his acts, weather his conduct is pure and upright”. A child’s true character will be known by his behavior.

Young children are spiritually unregenerate. Using wise discipline that requires obedience from children can cause them to become aware of their own sin and their need for Christ.

The most important point here is to note that when correction is done well it honors God. As parents we can’t change or stop our children from sinning but we can create a clear association between a rebellious action so that our child understands the consequences to disobedience. If we can’t and don’t expect our children to yield to our authority how can we ever expect them to yield to God.

3 Core Imperatives for Wise Correction

Discipline does not destroy the child but attacks the things that would destroy him. Failing to discipline invites your child to a regrettable future. Wise correction is regret management for all concerned. There are 3 core things to keep in mind for wise correction.

  1. Keep it God centered.
  2. Speak truth – always mean what you say.
  3. Reward obedience, not disobedience.

These several chapters were filled with amazing insight! God is loving and holy and good. I appreciated the example of aiming our children to be good and not “normal” (conforming to everyone else). Parents need to aim for their children’s goodness. When the author’s children became older he would say to them as they were leaving the house “Don’t be normal. Be good”.

Being normal in our culture is an unwise goal because our culture is broken and corrupt. If we tell our kids to “act normal” we are inviting them to look around to their peers to set the standard.

Good correcting must also be preceded by lots and lots of good affirmation. By saying yes often you establish many affirmations with your children and they are more likely to accept your no when they make an unwise request.

There is an entire section devoted to practical strategies to help with before you correct, in the moment, plus questions from parents.

Parenting with Loving Correction: Practical Help for Raising Young Children by Sam Crabtree is available on Amazon.

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6 Ways to Pray for Your Husband

6 Ways to Pray for Your Husband

I recently joined a women’s bible study and at our first meeting one of the ladies shared 6 Ways to Pray for Your Husband with the group. I was so encouraged and want to share this prayer with you.

There is so much darkness in our world today. Our husbands are constantly being tempted and as wives we need to continually be praying for them. Marriage is not always easy but it is worth fighting for. God’s word is powerful and I love that these prayers include the scripture references. I hope this blesses you as much as it has encouraged and blessed me. These could also be used to pray over your children.

I pray that my husband may seek first Your kingdom today. Help him to live righteously. And as he seeks you, Lord, I pray that You will provide everything he needs today. And show him what his true needs are, compared to what the world says he needs. Thank you for providing for every one of his needs, Lord!

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. Matthew 6:33 NLT

Fill my husband with Your Holy Spirit and inspire him to live right and true according to Your Word. Strengthen his hands and knees. Guide him on a straight path and hold him up, so that he can be made strong.

So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong. Hebrews 12:12-13 NLT

Help my husband guard his heart. I know, Lord, that where his heart is that will direct the course of his life. I know that where his heart is, that is where his treasure will be. I pray his heart will be first to You, second to his family, and third to the mission and purposes you’ve designed for him on earth.

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. Proverbs 4:23

Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be. Matthew 6:21 NLT

I pray that my husband will be humbled before You today. I pray that You will make him aware of the schemes of our enemy and make him strong to resist those schemes. I pray that he will desire to come close to you. I pray he will make the time to come to you. I thank you that You are always close when my husband approaches You. I pray that he will wash his hands from all the filth that he picks up just walking through life. I pray that if there is anything that my husband needs to seek repentance for that he will do it quickly so that he will not have to carry around heavy burdens and regretful thoughts. I pray that whenever his loyalty is divide between You and the world that He will always choose You.

So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world. James 4:7-8 NLT

I pray that my husband will turn to you to search and test his heart. I pray he will turn every anxious thought over to You. I pray that my husband’s heart will be tender so that when you point out areas of weakness that he will gladly and joyously turn over those offenses to You. I pray that you will lead him along the path of everlasting life, and I thank you that although there are struggles in this world that there will be no pain, shame, darkness or struggles and stumbling when we spend eternity with you.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life. Psalm 139:23-24

I pray that when my husband gets overwhelmed today that he will cry out to you. Lead him to Your towering rock of safety. Thank you, Lord, that You are his safe refuge. Thank you that at this moment You are surrounding my husband with a barrier of protection—and that no enemy can reach him. I pray that my husband will look forward to worshiping in your eternal sanctuary forever, and that you will give him a glimpse of Your holy presence here on earth. May my husband always stay safe between the shelter of Your wings.

From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the towering rock of safety, for you are my safe refuge, a fortress where my enemies cannot reach me. Let me live forever in your sanctuary, safe beneath the shelter of your wings! Psalm 61:2-4 NLT

Thank you, Lord, for listening to my prayers for my husband. Thank you for always hearing my prayers.

PS…If you would like a pdf copy of this prayer you can visit TriciaGoyer.com.

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