Tamara, Author at The Workout Mama

Jesse’s Birth Story

November 21, 2016 by Tamara 3 Comments

Last Monday, I made an appointment to go and see my chiropractor for an adjustment and accunpuncture session. If you are local and looking for a chiropractor be sure to check out Spine and Disc Center of Arizona and schedule a visit with Dr. Jason Taylor. Josh and I have been going here for adjustments and massage for the last 10 years.

With my due date coming up in two days I knew it would be beneficial to get an adjustment before labor. Plus, I was also hoping that the focused acupuncture session would encourage labor to start.

I dropped the kids off at my parents house before heading over for my appointment at 5pm. By 6pm I was back at my parents house after having had an adjustment and an acupuncture session. Up until this session I had only been having inconsistent contractions and nothing that was indicative that I would be going into labor soon.

I called Josh at the fire station and let him know to keep his phone nearby just case I went into labor. The kids and I got in the car and arrived home by 6:30pm and they were sleeping by 7:30pm. I started to feel more achy decided a shower and bed would be a wise idea. Between multiple trips to the bathroom and resting in bed I began having more contractions. Nothing horrible yet but the frequency was increasing.

Soon after midnight on Tuesday November 15th I went to the bathroom yet again and when I went to wipe there was bloody show. Yay! This meant I was getting closer to being able to hold our baby. But also at the same time, eeekkkkkkk, because I was getting closer to all the things that happen before you can hold the baby.

By 3:15am I called Josh and told him to come home. It took several phone calls to reach him due to the fact that he was in such a deep sleep because he had got himself all pumped up after our last conversation, ran two calls, and finally had been able to close his eyes. He was home by 4am.

And by 4:30am my parents were over at the house to stay with Caden and Maisie. I finished up a few more things around the house, took another shower (because showers feel good when you are having contractions), and double checked my hospital bag. Josh and I arrived at the hospital and sat in the parking lot for 45 minutes. Josh convinced me that we should probably get out of the car and go get checked in.

When we were being checked in Dr. Brass, my OB, was walking out of the labor and delivery area. I am counting this as an unexpected blessing from God. With Caden and Maisie she arrived right as I was ready to push but it was amazing having her already at the hospital!

At 6am I was in the triage area and was told I was dilated to 3cm. Not the best news but on the flip side Dr. Brass was able to strip my membranes. In an hour I would be checked again to see if I had progressed. During this time I made multiple trips to the bathroom, if you have been in labor before you know you pretty much release anything that is inside your body, and started to have an increase in the pain and frequency of the contractions.

When the nurse checked my an hour later I had not made any more progress and was still at 3cm. She could tell that my contractions had increased and went to talk to Dr.Brass who to my surprise said I could be admitted! Praise Jesus! I was so happy I didn’t have to get back in the car and go home.

Can you tell by my face how excited I was? It is also obvious to note that in this picture I am still smiling, I also still wanted to take a picture, and I texted it to several friends to give them an update. This was my only selfie of the morning.

Josh and I got setup in the labor and delivery room by 8am. I was hooked up to monitors, an IV, and given a birthing ball to sit on. I sat on the ball in between contractions and stood up and leaned against the bed during them. My mom arrived shortly after and she and Josh would press down on my low back and sacrum during the contractions to help with back labor. With all my kids I have intense pain in my lower back with contractions.

My nurse came in and asked if I would like Dr. Brass to break my water. Umm, yes please! I was actually kinda excited to have her break it because Caden and Maisie’s broke on their own and I wanted to experience what it felt like. Spoiler alert: It feels exactly the same as when it breaks on it’s own. The only difference is you know that it is coming.

Before she broke my water she also checked me again and I was 5cm dilated. The time frame that follows starts to get a little blurry because everything happened so fast. After my water broke I was sitting at the edge of the bed to drain out and things started to get a lot more intense. I couldn’t talk or carry a conversation in between contractions, I was literally just trying to focus on getting through the contraction before the next one started up.

While I was sitting on the edge of the bed I became super nauseated and vomited multiple times. Multiple times. It wasn’t fun and I am very thankful for Zofran.

By 9:30am I was checked again and I was 6cm dilated. I went from sitting up to laying on my side with a peanut ball in between my legs. It felt pretty amazing at that point to be totally relaxed on the bed and not having to support my weight.

Dr. Brass came back in again and suggested that I try getting on my hands and knees at the top of the bed. During contractions I would sit back towards my heals, like a modified childs pose and began to feel soooooo much pressure!

The nurse asked to check me again. This is probably the worst part of labor. When you are in the middle of back to back contractions and need to be checked on progress. Shockingly I was 10cm dilated and was ready to push! Couldn’t believe it but was so thankful!

The squat bar was setup at the end of the bed, Josh got his gloves on to catch and I was given the go ahead to push. If you have never heard of delivering a baby in this position I highly recommend it! I describe it in more detail in Caden’s birth story and also mention it in Maisie’s birth story.

My body loves the pushing part of labor. It is this sweet yet intensely painful moment that is filled with the excited anticipation of what is to come. At 10:22am after 4 minutes of pushing our handsome son, Jesse Tate, made his way into his Daddy’s hands and was then placed on my chest.

I was admitted at 7:30am and Jesse was born at 10:22am. In less than an hour I went from 6cm to fully dilated and delivered our son. It amazes me what my body is able to do.

It seems fitting that this week is Thanksgiving. I have so much I am thankful for. I don’t think I can ever truly express how grateful I am to have the opportunity to be a new mom again.

Childbirth is a very painful, yet transformative process. I don’t think you can go through labor and delivery without coming out changed on the other side. During labor with Maisie I kept saying to myself over and over “This is the last time you have to do this, Tam.” The pain was so intense that the only thought I could grasp ahold of was that Josh was getting a vasectomy and she was going to be our last baby.

With Caden I had no clue what labor was going to be like. No clue. When I was barely dilated at the hospital after my water broke and eating a popsicle I heard another woman giving birth next door screaming. I couldn’t fathom why she was making those noises and literally was thinking that she needed to get it together. All that to say that after giving birth three times without medication I totally understand those noises that other mama was making.

During labor with Jesse I kept quoting scripture over and over to myself and praying Philippians 4:5-7.

“Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Over the past two years I have learned to release myself from having to be in control, because ultimately I am not. When I tried to control things or prove to myself that I could handle whatever life brought my way I sunk deeper into my own anxious thoughts. This last year has really shown me that what I say I believe is what I actually believe and who I say is in control of my life is actually in control of my life.

In the last year Josh and I have gone from thinking we were done having kids, to deciding to become foster parents, and to finally learning that we were surprisingly pregnant a year after his vasectomy. If this had happened two years ago I would have seriously questioned God about what was happening and would have been an overall mess.

Jesse means gift. Josh and I believe that all of our children are gifts to us but this little boy has especially made this seem even more true. He is the best gift we never knew our family was missing and now that he has arrived I can’t imagine our family without him. God has been so good to our family and this unexpected blessing has been a beautiful testimony to His goodness and grace.

Jesse’s Birthday November 15, 2016 at 10:22am | Birth Weight 8 pounds | Length 20 in

Filed Under: My Family Tagged With: Birth Story, Jesse

What I Learned from Reading the Bible

November 14, 2016 by Tamara Leave a Comment

For the last several years I have really wanted to read the entire Bible. I was just never disciplined enough to actually do it. I had super great intentions in January of every year but come March I just lost interest.

I think my wanting to read the Bible can be equated to the same way the majority of the population makes New Years resolutions to go to the gym and eat healthier. We start out strong but without a realistic plan and a strong why behind the motive even our best intentions will fall short of our goal.

My reason for wanting to read the Bible before was simply to be able to say I had read the Bible. When I began to really want to know God more and his character my why changed.

This year when I started reading the Bible in January I didn’t follow any plan. I decided I would start in the New Testament before I even attempted the Old Testament. And it totally worked! The New Testament was familiar and full of rich lessons and teachings. When I made my way to Genesis I had already been reading my Bible consistently for several months and was really enjoying my daily time in the Word.

Below are just a few of the things I learned while reading the entire Bible.

Pain is often compared to childbirth. I can’t tell you how many times this is mentioned in the Bible but it is quite a few. It could also be that because I am pregnant with our third baby this comparison jumped out at me more.

The Old Testament doesn’t intimidate me anymore. When it came to reading the Old Testament I felt very overwhelmed. Which is probably one of the reasons I never made it past March in the previous Bible reading plans I started. Once I got into Leviticus and Numbers my eyes would start to gloss over and I had a very hard time concentrating. I know I am not alone in feeling this way. Please someone tell me I am not alone.

I will be honest and say that Leviticus and Numbers were still hard for me to read but I pressed on and when I did I discovered that I really enjoyed the Old Testament. Like, I am sorta geeked out on it. I love the prophets and story of Samuel, Saul, and David is seriously a page turner!

Christ’s family tree has some really messed up people in it. Just look at Matthew 1:1-6. Obviously these names won’t mean anything if you don’t know the back story but I promise you these people are worth reading about! Just to pique your interest…

Jacob – He stole his brother Esau’s birthright and blessing and flees his home because he is afraid his brother will kill him. Even after this God promises to bless him (Genesis 28:10-15). He then goes to work for his Uncle under the condition that he will be able to marry his younger cousin Rachel. The morning after the wedding he wakes up to find out that he has married the wrong sister! So he works even longer for his Uncle so he can marry Rachel. The twists in this story are epic. One of Jacob’s son, Judah, would eventually become the father of many generations of great men including the greatest man of all, Jesus!

Tamar – Jacob’s son Judah is Tamar’s father-in-law. She was married to one of his sons who was killed. In that time it was customary for another family member to marry the widow to continue the bloodline. In this case no one wanted to marry Tamar or the next in line was not yet old enough. Tamar disguises herself as a prostitute and covers her face with a veil and waits for Judah on the side of the road. Not knowing who she is Judah hires her and in lieu of payment she asks for a goat with a security deposit of his staff, seal, and cord. When Judah returns with the goat he cannot find the woman. When Tamar winds up pregnant and Judah learns that she has been accused of prostitution he orders her to be put to death. Tamar then proceeds to send the staff, seal, and cord to Judah with a message declaring that the owner of these items was the man who had made her pregnant. When he recognizes the items are his he realizes what has happened. Tamara gives birth to twins, Perez and Zerah. Perez is later identified in the Book of Ruth as the ancestor of King David.

Rahab – Joshua has taken over for Moses and is preparing to lead the Israelites into the promised land. He sends spies into the land and they come to the home of a prostitute named Rahab. She agrees to hide the spies on the roof of her house and lies for them because she knows that God has sent them. The spies promise that when they return to take the land they will let her and her family live. Rahab goes on to become the mother to Boaz who you meet in the book of Ruth. It is pretty amazing that Jesus came to this world to save us and was born into a family that had quite the past!

These names now have meaning to me.

Before I would skip over these sections because I didn’t grasp the full story these names were telling.

God can use messed up people. Which means that God can use me. I am such a mess and it is reassuring to know that I don’t have to have everything together in order for God to still use me for His purpose.

The significance of the veil being torn in the temple upon Christ’s death on the cross now brings me to tears. In the Old Testament and up until Christ death you read about the temple and how this huge veil was hung in order to divide God from the outside world. Very few people had access to God in the temple. When Christ died the need for the curtain was no longer necessary because Christ himself was the ultimate sacrifice. Sin offerings were no longer needed because Christ covered us with his blood.

In the last 9 months I have read the Bible cover to cover and I can’t get enough. I now have even more questions than I did before I started reading and crave to know more. I have started back in Genesis again and look forward to continuing reading my bible and knowing God more.

Discipline takes effort. It isn’t something we are born with, it is something that we must work at. If we don’t read our Bible it is because we don’t want to read our Bible. It is that simple.

When we read the Bible honestly and are engaged in God’s Word it can destroy our pride and leave us feeling uncomfortable. God wants to be our Savior and for us to stop believing the lie that by living under the idol of control we can happy and prosperous. Friends, take it from someone who knows, when you have a control idol the only thing it will leave you with is either anger or anxiety.

Reading the Bible requires discipline, it teaches us truth, reproves us, corrects us, and trains us. The Bible is life-giving and shows over and over that God is truly good and we are not. The gospel message is powerful.

If you are wanting to start reading the bible but aren’t sure where to start check out The Bible Project. My husband recently discovered this website and app. Each day you read several chapters and a Psalm. There are also corresponding videos on certain days that introduce the book you are reading or a topic. I am really enjoying this reading plan and think you will too!

Filed Under: Faith Tagged With: Bible

Cheers to 9 Years

November 10, 2016 by Tamara Leave a Comment

Josh was 34 years old on our wedding day and I was a few days shy of turning 24. Today I am a few days away from turning 33 and I as look back on the last 9 years of our marriage I can proudly say that our love story is my favorite, and the best part is it isn’t over yet!

I would be lying if I told you that everything has been smooth sailing since the day we said I do. Neither of us are perfect and thankfully we don’t pretend to be…wellllll sometimes I can be pretty close, just kidding, just kidding. But in all honesty it takes two people to make a marriage work and Josh and I always joke that we are stuck with each other for life because of our covenant marriage*.

With age comes more maturity and the ability to look back on life events from a different perspective. When Josh and I got married I thought I knew what love was. I knew love needed to be patient, kind, hold no record of wrong, not easily angered, not proud, not rude, not boastful, and not self seeking. I knew all these things but I didn’t know how to apply them to my marriage. It has taken years and with daily effort for me to actually attempt to be that definition of love in our marriage. And here is a spoiler alert: I still fail at this most days!

If I have learned anything it is to constantly keep praying, renewing my mind, and focusing on the positive so I can pour out unconditional love onto Josh and now also our children. Not seeing your husband for 24-48 hours at a time, multiple days out of the month, can create a real disconnect in your relationship if you are not careful.

I crushed on him hard at the age of 17 and told my friends I would marry him one day and have his babies. I promise I was not a stalker, but I am super happy that my teenage dream came true! In honor of 9 years of marriage I wanted to brag on Josh for a second and share how he has been a great example of biblical love.

I was super sick when we got married. Like paralyzed from the neck down, couldn’t feel anything sick. The older I get, the more amazed I am that he still wanted to marry me, not knowing what our life would be like several years down the road. Only knowing that I had been sick for 8 months prior to our wedding and that there was no real treatment plan to get me better. He could have easily walked away from me at this time and I know now looking back that he was 100% committed and all in. Most guys don’t go into their marriage prepared to take care of a sick wife who was at the doctors office weekly, in and out of hospitals, and needing help to do everyday tasks most people take for granted. Read more about my autoimmune disorder in The Girl Behind the Blog.

He works so hard to provide for our family and does so without complaining…except when it is time to get out of bed in the morning. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard “I wish shift change happened at 8am” muttered under his breath as the alarm goes off for the third snooze cycle. When he comes home from work to two toddlers running around chasing after him, because they are excited to see him, and a wife who can sometimes talk his ear off if she is not careful, he still makes the time to be present with us even if he didn’t get an ounce of sleep, when all he really wants to do is fall into bed and close his eyes.

Marriage is a balancing act. It is learning to put the other persons needs above your own, no matter how hard it is. And sometimes it is really, really, hard.

The disappointments I have had in marriage have come from me thinking that God owed me something because I had done things the “right” way. I thought that God was going to bless me and reward me with a happily every after. I failed to understand that I wasn’t guaranteed a happily ever after in marriage. When two sinners marry there are going to be struggles and hard times.

Hard times will happen in marriage. Hard times will happen in life. For followers of Christ the happy ending is not immediate in this life, but it is guaranteed. We know how this will end for us, and where our hope is centered.

When I reminisce over the last 9 years of our marriage I am in awe of all the God has done. God has used our marriage to teach us and sanctify us so we can love and honor each other and also love God more and more.

Josh has seen me at my worst and has still been able to find a redeeming quality in me that has sometimes been hard for me to see myself and loved me through it. He is kind, believes the best in people, and forgives much easier than I do. For these reasons and many more myself and our children are lucky to have him.

I am thankful for anniversaries because they remind us to seek the best out of of our relationships and look back on how far we have come. I seriously can’t believe that we have two kids and another one soon on the way!

Tomorrow I am sure I will go back to being more easily annoyed by the small little things that Josh does that bug me, but today I am going to reminisce on the happy memories that have made us us.

Happy Anniversary Josh!

*Arizona, Arkansas, and Louisiana are the only three states that offer a covenant marriage. A covenant marriage is a legally distinct kind of marriage in which the marrying spouses agree to obtain pre-marital counseling and accept more limited grounds for later seeking divorce. To read more about covenant marriage visit The Policy Pages.

Filed Under: Personal Tagged With: Anniversary, Covenant Marriage, Josh, Marriage