I Remembered Why I Fell In Love With My Husband When…

I think those of us who have been married for a few years would agree that overtime the routine of life starts to take over and you begin to forget those initial sparks that first flew between you and your spouse. Now don’t get me wrong I totally love Josh. We have been married for 5 years and he is a great husband and an amazing father. But marriage is not a fairy tale. The reality is that the stress from daily life can take a toll on your relationship if you allow it.

I was feeling particularly stressed out this past month with packing and sorting up all our belongings for our move. I was making my way to each area of the house sorting all of our items when I came across a grocery bag that was shoved under our bed. As I began to remove the contents of the bag my heart started to melt and so did all the stress I had been feeling. Inside were dozens and dozens of handwritten love letters from Josh.

For the next 45 minutes I sat on the floor and allowed myself to be flooded with happiness. I read so many sweet words of support, encouragement, and love my husband had written to me over the years.

Love Letter

Reading those cards got me thinking, when was the last time I had actually written or even spoken words of encouragement or kindness to my husband? Gulp.

So if I haven’t already embarrassed my husband by sharing this post here it goes…

Josh,

I want you to know how proud I am of the man you have become and how happy I am to be your wife. I can honestly say that I could not picture my life without you. You are an awesome father and Caden just adores you. I know our daughter will too. The fact that you are already looking forward to taking her to daddy daughter dances just shows how much you already love her. Our kids don’t even know how lucky they are. They have a father who makes it a point to pray over them and their mother each and every night. I am so thankful for you. You have seen me at my worst and cared for when I have been my sickest. I would be lost without your love. You are generous with your time and a wonderful provider for all our needs. Our life together has not been without struggles or challenges but that is what makes where we are today that much sweeter. I love you for now and always. 

Your wife, Tamara

It is amazing what words of kindness and affection can do for your relationship. I am so thankful for these sweet love notes from my husband. They reminded me of all the amazing qualities that I love in him how amazing he is. If you haven’t taken the time to tell your husband or anyone else in your life how much they mean to you I want to encourage you to take a few minutes to do so. Send a text, buy a card, or a make a phone call. Maybe even write a blog post yourself. I promise you won’t regret the time you spent.

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Varicose Veins & Pregnancy

When I was pregnant with Caden my legs started to begin bothering me around 22 weeks. I first noticed something was different when I went for a run and had to stop and walk because my legs felt so heavy and were causing me pain each time I took a stride. At my next OB appointment I was referred to a vein specialist and learned that I had varicose veins.

Varicose veins are diseased blood vessels that have become permanently dilated (enlarged) and can no longer carry blood back to the heart efficiently. As the dilated veins begin to leak, oxygen-poor blood pools in the varicose veins and waste products accumulate in the legs. Untreated varicose veins can cause aching, heaviness and swelling, and can lead to blood clots and leg ulcers if left untreated.

Vein Anatomy

It was certainly not what I expected to hear. I was healthy, active, under the age of 30, and sitting only 10 pounds above my pre-pregancy weight. Instead what I had was a family history of bad veins. No amount of healthy living could out run bad genetics. I left that appointment with two pairs of compression socks, knee and thigh high, which I was not super thrilled to be wearing especially because the desert temps were beginning to rise.

Speaking of compression socks, my favorite brands are Juzo for everyday and CEP for exercising (this post is in no way sponsored by these companies I just love their products). All of my socks were prescribed by my doctor and insurance covered some of the cost of my Juzo socks. My CEP socks were not covered by insurance at all. These are the my go to socks…

Compression Socks

I was told to back off from running, continue to swim laps, and layoff any movement that would cause a direct downward force on my legs. My plan for the remainder of my first pregnancy was to wear my compression socks daily, swim as much as could, continue to practice yoga (check out Yoga for Varicose Veins on my YouTube channel), and avoid running. I still lifted weights and did cardio but used the stair climber and elliptical.

As my pregnancy progressed, the worse my legs became. I had dark bluish purple bruises that were very pronounced below my knees and on my inner calf. My legs became painful to the touch but I knew the more I could keep moving the better off I was.

After Caden was born I did notice a slight improvement in my legs but when my period returned months later the aching, throbbing, and pain returned full force. I made an appointment with my vein specialist to have the consultation for treatment. I knew I wouldn’t start therapy until I was done breastfeeding but I wanted to get everything booked for mid June after Caden’s first birthday.

Due to the severity of the vein reflux in my legs I needed to get treatment from my inner groin down to my ankles on both my right and left sides. I opted to get the treatments done back to back as quickly as our insurance would allow. The entire length of my treatment lasted 2 months, which wasn’t horrible, but I have to say wearing thigh high compression socks the entire summer was not something I enjoyed.

My treatment consisted of endovenous laser treatmentsclerotherapy, and compression socks. With endovenous laser treatment a slender catheter is inserted into the diseased vein through a tiny needle prick in the skin. Then, under ultrasound guidance, a laser fiber is positioned within the diseased vein. The energy of the laser causes the vein to close, rerouting the blood to the many healthy veins. The diseased vein becomes harmless fibrous tissue and is gradually absorbed by the body. Sclerotherapy uses ultrasound to locate the damaged, deeper veins that pressure the varicose veins on the surface. Once the root of the problem is identified, duplex ultrasound is used to accurately guide injections of a special medication into these leaking veins, causing them to safely collapse and close. The diseased veins dry up and are gradually absorbed through the body’s natural healing response.

Following each treatment I drove to the nearby Target to walk for 30 minutes. This was actually my favorite part of the treatment. I also had to wear my compression socks continuously for the first 24 hours after any treatment. Because I opted to get my treatments back to back I lived in my socks for the entire summer and could take them off only for swimming, showering, and sleeping.

Since Josh and I knew we wanted to get pregnant again fairly quickly after I was finished breastfeeding Caden it was important to have this treatment done ASAP. If I had not had treatment before becoming pregnant again I would have increased my risk of developing a blood clot. I want to be clear that I did not have this surgery done for cosmetic reasons. I could have lived with the bruising or discoloration in my skin but the amount of pain I was feeling hinder my ability to go for runs and even do certain exercises and yoga poses. Because the treatment was done for medical reasons it was covered 100% by our insurance. I highly encourage you to seek medical attention if you are dealing with leg pain due to varicose veins.

My treatment was completed by mid August and Josh and I became pregnant in September. Since becoming pregnant again my legs have started to swell, bruise with discoloration and become more painful. I can’t imagine how much more awful they would feel if I had not had treatment for the already diseased veins. This time around I have much more noticeable and pronounced bruising on both legs from the groin down. It looks pretty bad when I take off my compression socks each night.

Once this baby girl is born I will be back in for my last set of laser treatments. Josh told me several times before and after Caden was born that he didn’t want me to be in pain and it was totally fine with him if I didn’t want to be pregnant again. We are praying for a healthy baby and if everything goes smoothly I can safely say that this will be my last pregnancy. For my next set of treatments I will hopefully start within a few months of the baby being born. I am opting to pump and dump for 24 hours after each treatment instead of waiting until I am done breastfeeding.

While varicose veins aren’t the end of the world, they can be painful and hinder your ability to participate in the activities you enjoy. I wanted to share my experience to hopefully encourage and also make you aware that if you have a family history of diseased veins and become pregnant to make sure you have your doctor take a look.  You know your body better than anyone else and if something doesn’t feel right speak up. We all have to be our own health advocates.

I would love to hear from you: 

  • Do you have a family history of varicose veins?
  • Or have you had treatment done on your veins?
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The Mama Confessionals: I Locked My Kid In The Car

the mama confessionalsWell, it happened. The day I never thought would happen. At 10:52 am this morning I locked my kid in the car. After buckling Caden into his carseat and shutting his door, I placed my hand on the door handle fully expecting it to open like it always does but it didn’t budge. Searching my diaper bag for my keys was pointless because I could see them inside the car on the my seat.  After attempting to open all the other doors, including the trunk, I called 911.

The 911 operator told me the more relaxed I stayed the better it would be for my 19 month old. Umm…I just locked my baby in the car! I was ready to bust the window open with my diaper bag if needed to get him out. But instead I said a quick prayer and begin to play peek-a-boo with him. Thank goodness for that sweet 911 operator reassuring me I was not a bad parent and that if I was ever going to lock my child in the car the weather today was ideal for such a dilemma. With the fire department in route to my location the call ended and I attempted to distract my son.

After peek-a-boo we sang a few songs and I danced around to entertain him. I could have cared less what I looked like at the time but I am sure a 5 month pregnant lady dancing and singing around her car was somewhat comical.

In the process of waiting for the fire department to arrive I attempted to call my husband at work. 5 times. I knew that he was probably out on a call, possibly playing the hero to another mama who found herself in a similar situation. I understood calling him was not going to get Caden out of the car any sooner, but one of the benefits of having a firefighter for a husband is that he can talk me out of a panic and tell me that it is going to be ok.

On my last attempt to call Josh, Caden was becoming slightly less amused by the whole situation. I think he was starting to realize that we weren’t playing a game anymore and that he was stuck in the car.

Thankfully at 11:01 am, only 9 minutes since the 911 call, which felt like an eternity, the fire department arrived in the parking lot. I excitedly told Caden through the window that the fire engine was here to rescue him out of the car. As soon as he saw the engine he became super excited and began saying “dada” over and over again.

The firefighters were super nice and Caden was in my arms within 5 minutes. With no damage done to our car and Caden unlocked from his carseat I was a happy and relaxed mama again. Caden was such a trooper during the entire ordeal and he was given two stuffed animals from the firefighters. I hugged on my baby and said thank you numerous times as the crew packed up to head back to their station.

I Locked My Kid In The Car

I will never lock my keys in the car again. Like ever. I might even physically attach them to my body so there is no chance I can do this in the future. That being said, it wasn’t the end of the world like I thought it would be, my mommy card did not get revoked, and Caden is the now the proud owner of stuffed teddy bear and duck.

Thank you Chandler Fire Department for rescuing my baby out of the car and thank you husband for cleaning my car out this weekend. This situation would have been even more awful had Caden been stuck in a dirty car surrounded by stale puffs and used kleenex.

I want to hear your confessionals! Has this happened to you? Leave your comments below. 

xoxo, Tamara

PS…Want to read my first confessional? Cough, cough, sneeze, and whoops…I peed my pants.

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